On August 12 2018 I walked to my 6th period. Great I thought only 1 more class and I can go home.The first thing I noticed where the people I already knew like Alejandro, Freddy and some others.I was just trying to get through the day. My thought where did I take out the trash? And was that a stain on my white shoes? Anyways my first seconds in that class where the same just counting time till class would end.
When he started explaining how the class would be it was kind of hard to believe him. When I saw Dr. on his name I expected the usual educated person who can be a perfectionist. When he started explaining how the class would be different I was hooked. Than my memories went by and I though he isn't the first teacher who says this and ends up being the same. When he went more in depth with the open source learning I couldn't help but start feeling more and more intrigued. When he walked out my only though was, "Is he really trusting a bunch of teenagers in a class with him out ?" When he finally came in I expected him to look around the class for any damage.He didn't. When we agreed to open source he smiled and went on explaining to us what to do to build our blogs.
The blogs where honestly stressing. I couldn't keep up with the posts but the journal was actually soothing before class you could think as an individual rather than as a collective group.The blogs required time which I don't have much of than I started to catch up or do free writes so it got a little bit better. The public speaking was kind of nerve wrecking because I just started last year with debate again. The poems where really stressful because I don't have to much time to try to memorize them or make a video.
During September I started getting back in touch with some older friends from back in Junior High. For a good moment I felt like just going back to being a screw up to much work I tried to change before but people never took that in consideration. Than our book reports came in and that brought me back. I read something I wanted to and was given the opportunity to examine it. Than I started trying again I am not the A in the class but I believe I am not a C or D because I actually start to invest as much time and thought onto my writings.
The way I started to fix my post uploading was using as much spare time to do them even if it meant pulling an all nighter than that's what I did.I started to try to focus more on school and if I couldn't upload than I decided to make my few posts worth a while. I also tried to update them by making them better.My journals I tried to make them better too.Even though in some they are plain.
Since the begging of the year I have matured both in school wise and just generally in person. I have re-opened my mind to investigating conflicts trying to change the world's view. I have improved in my blogs and my social reputation because of them. The open source has actually improved my learning motivation and enjoyment that was lost in elementary school.In the Laughing Heart Charles Bukowski says "the gods wait to delight in you." I though this was a cringe end but it can actually come true. I found some delight in school again. Than the Conscience Of A Hacker the mentor states,"we've been spoon-fed baby food at school when we hungered for steak the bits of meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed tasteless." This actually applies to school because teachers are required to teach us what grown ups think is important rather than our own interests. Another poem I found awakening was A Dream Within A Dream. In the end of the poem it says, " Is all that we see or seem but a dream within a dream." This quote was interesting because of my interests of questioning everything we are told rather than accepting it because someone told us to. My favorite post was either A Rose Growing Out Of Concrete or The Turner Diaries. In both posts when I wrote them I tried putting my self on the protagonist. I saw every point of view and wasn't close minded. I probably enjoyed the book report because we chose the book not the teachers like they always do. Mr.Preston always made that fun because he gave us a free choice and that to me is something I don't get often.
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